- Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:29:01 pm
#46792
merit /ˈmerət/ n. 1. the quality of being particularly good or worthy, especially so as to deserve praise or reward.
What are my merits? What are the qualities that I've deemed to be 'good' or 'worthy'; the qualities with which I will be rating castaways on all season? It couldn't be their skills in the game, for I am in no way qualified to judge people's gameplay (my best placement is fourteenth, I've survived one tribal council in my entire Stranded history, I've never voted correctly, I've been voted out three times across two seasons and I've quit the game once too... if I were judging gameplay, my merits would be worthless)!
But, what I can judge the castaways on is their ability to entertain. I won Fan Favorite on my first season, and I honestly don't remember how I placed for my second season in those polls - only that I was far from last, and that was in spite of my quitting, so yeah - I do feel somewhat qualified to judge people in terms of entertainment. (And, if I'm not qualified, what the hell else should I write about?!)
But let's be more specific. Anyone can judge people on their ability to entertain, but what separates "Garret's Merits" from any old fan favorite poll? Well, I'm glad you asked. Garrett's Merits will be a season-long mathematical formula designed to reach an objective truth without any shadow of a doubt as to who is definitively the greatest, most worthy, most impressive, most entertaining character of this season - nay, of Stranded, ever! Castaways will be judged on ten distinctive categories, with more potentially to follow, and will have their scores totaled up at the end of each episode to come to a conclusive percentage (ranging from -55% to +165%) for their character performance for that episode. Those percentages will be multiplied by a factor of 1 to 3 (depending on who they're playing... more on that in part IV) to give them a point total for that week, which could be positive or negative. Their weekly points will then be added or subtracted from their total season-long standing, thereby giving an advantage to characters who go farther in the game whilst also valuing premerge and preswap characters, given that they won't lose points after their boot. I'm sure that all makes sense, so what are the categories each character will be judged on?
I. What are their goals? In order to determine the ten metrics/merits that I'd be grading each character on, I consulted nine blog posts and scholarly articles, and watched half a dozen character-focused video essays on Youtube, that broke down the tentpoles of a great character. Few points were consistent across every blog, article, and Youtube video essay, but one that was was that great characters need to have goals. Maybe it's freedom, maybe it's revenge, maybe it's family, maybe it's a pursuit of the almighty dollar... but whatever it is, characters need goals. And before you pan me for analyzing real people as if they're literary characters, don't forget that these castaways have already told us our goals, and we just may not realize it yet. Some of these players are here with the sole goal to win, others are here to prove to themselves that they have what it takes to play Survivor. Others still might make it their goal simply to entertain. When I played Stranded in Socotra, my goal was to avenge Woo's blindside. In Revenge, my goal was to annihilate Vytas. I may have failed on both fronts, but at least my goals were clear, and that's precisely why I feel qualified to rate characters on this merit. Do they have goals, are they clearly defined, and are they interesting enough? (To be graded from -5% to +15%)
II. "Just because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character" This next metric might be controversial, but I place a lot of value on people's abilities to remain virtuous under the face of extreme pressure. In essence, this merit will judge characters on their heroic qualities: do they treat others as they wish to be treated, do they use words like 'please' and 'thank you', do they back down from drama or stand up for what they believe in? These are the qualities that I'm looking for in a good Stranded character. Of course villains have more fun, and there will certainly be no shortage of villains this season... but, that's what the FF polls typically reward. I'm here to be different, and therefore I'm grading people on their abilities to be... well, villainous to a certain extent without ever crossing the boundaries of the game. Let's keep things fun, Capeesh? (To be graded from -5% to 15%)
III. Raiders of the Lost Arc Growth is inevitable. Most of these players are under thirty, and a few are still teenagers. I would venture so far as to say that none of them - like myself - are fully sure of who they are, and what they want to be. Heck, one of them has had more jobs than Debbie Wanner - sorry if it sounds condescending, but I'm hopeful that there will be a few characters this season who actually recognize that there is something to take out of this experience and actually take it. I want to grade characters on their season-long arcs, as they grow from the nerd to the bully, or the introvert to the extrovert, or the friend to the foe. I want to see an early friendship or romance blossom into something beyond the game, only for one half to sever it, and then have the other half rip into their former friend/romantic partner at FTC and be the sole vote that costs them the game. I want poetry, dammit! And that's what Part 3 will be grading castaways on: how do they grow throughout the game? (This definitely gives late-game players an advantage, and therefore it will be only graded on a scale of 0% to 10%)
IV. What did we expect? Looking back at previous Stranded Fan Favorites; Reem, Trashley, Danni, etc.; I've found one key similarity between them all: the people who tend to win Fan Favorite are those who play unpopular characters. Boston Rob, Cirie, Parvati and other irl Survivor legends are rarely legends in Stranded too, and I think that's one of the beauties of this game. I like it when somebody like T-Bird Cooper can come into this game and be so diametrically opposed to their irl counterpart, and so (controversially or not), I'm devoting an entire merit to that phenomenon. This is where players like Dean and Christian might suffer, and others like Chelsea or John might succeed. And I know this wasn't in the player's control, but fuck it - mo' metrics, mo' problems. (To be multiplied to a character's score by a factor of 1, 2, or 3, with bigger characters only multiplying their score by 1 or 2, and no-names times three, giving them an inherent advantage irrelevant to how they actually play the game)
V. The Final Part Now, I know what you're thinking: I thought you said there would be ten parts, Garrett, why does it say that the fifth part is the final part? Well, the truth is I got lazy and I couldn't come up with five more parts; suggestions are welcome, by the way! So, for now, we'll only be grading people on five parts, and I'll just multiply their percentage by 2 to get a more accurate representation. With that being said, what's the fifth and final part? Truthfully, it's the most important one so far, and therefore it will account from anywhere from -15% to +35%. It's all about activity here. How much are they playing, and how many shits do they give? A player who's riding the wave of a majority alliance will lose almost all of their cumulative points here, and the batshit crazy outsider with a chip on their soldier who spends every waking moment thinking about how to advance themselves in the game might be able to earn full marks here. This is a game, and I want to see people actually playing it. (This fifth part will be graded from -15% to 35% each episode).
So, there you have it.
My merits might change and evolve over time, but these five will definitely be the first five merits for the first episode. Please leave any suggestions you might have below, as long as they’re not stupid please.
- Oxford Dictionary -
What are my merits? What are the qualities that I've deemed to be 'good' or 'worthy'; the qualities with which I will be rating castaways on all season? It couldn't be their skills in the game, for I am in no way qualified to judge people's gameplay (my best placement is fourteenth, I've survived one tribal council in my entire Stranded history, I've never voted correctly, I've been voted out three times across two seasons and I've quit the game once too... if I were judging gameplay, my merits would be worthless)!
But, what I can judge the castaways on is their ability to entertain. I won Fan Favorite on my first season, and I honestly don't remember how I placed for my second season in those polls - only that I was far from last, and that was in spite of my quitting, so yeah - I do feel somewhat qualified to judge people in terms of entertainment. (And, if I'm not qualified, what the hell else should I write about?!)
But let's be more specific. Anyone can judge people on their ability to entertain, but what separates "Garret's Merits" from any old fan favorite poll? Well, I'm glad you asked. Garrett's Merits will be a season-long mathematical formula designed to reach an objective truth without any shadow of a doubt as to who is definitively the greatest, most worthy, most impressive, most entertaining character of this season - nay, of Stranded, ever! Castaways will be judged on ten distinctive categories, with more potentially to follow, and will have their scores totaled up at the end of each episode to come to a conclusive percentage (ranging from -55% to +165%) for their character performance for that episode. Those percentages will be multiplied by a factor of 1 to 3 (depending on who they're playing... more on that in part IV) to give them a point total for that week, which could be positive or negative. Their weekly points will then be added or subtracted from their total season-long standing, thereby giving an advantage to characters who go farther in the game whilst also valuing premerge and preswap characters, given that they won't lose points after their boot. I'm sure that all makes sense, so what are the categories each character will be judged on?
I. What are their goals? In order to determine the ten metrics/merits that I'd be grading each character on, I consulted nine blog posts and scholarly articles, and watched half a dozen character-focused video essays on Youtube, that broke down the tentpoles of a great character. Few points were consistent across every blog, article, and Youtube video essay, but one that was was that great characters need to have goals. Maybe it's freedom, maybe it's revenge, maybe it's family, maybe it's a pursuit of the almighty dollar... but whatever it is, characters need goals. And before you pan me for analyzing real people as if they're literary characters, don't forget that these castaways have already told us our goals, and we just may not realize it yet. Some of these players are here with the sole goal to win, others are here to prove to themselves that they have what it takes to play Survivor. Others still might make it their goal simply to entertain. When I played Stranded in Socotra, my goal was to avenge Woo's blindside. In Revenge, my goal was to annihilate Vytas. I may have failed on both fronts, but at least my goals were clear, and that's precisely why I feel qualified to rate characters on this merit. Do they have goals, are they clearly defined, and are they interesting enough? (To be graded from -5% to +15%)
II. "Just because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character" This next metric might be controversial, but I place a lot of value on people's abilities to remain virtuous under the face of extreme pressure. In essence, this merit will judge characters on their heroic qualities: do they treat others as they wish to be treated, do they use words like 'please' and 'thank you', do they back down from drama or stand up for what they believe in? These are the qualities that I'm looking for in a good Stranded character. Of course villains have more fun, and there will certainly be no shortage of villains this season... but, that's what the FF polls typically reward. I'm here to be different, and therefore I'm grading people on their abilities to be... well, villainous to a certain extent without ever crossing the boundaries of the game. Let's keep things fun, Capeesh? (To be graded from -5% to 15%)
III. Raiders of the Lost Arc Growth is inevitable. Most of these players are under thirty, and a few are still teenagers. I would venture so far as to say that none of them - like myself - are fully sure of who they are, and what they want to be. Heck, one of them has had more jobs than Debbie Wanner - sorry if it sounds condescending, but I'm hopeful that there will be a few characters this season who actually recognize that there is something to take out of this experience and actually take it. I want to grade characters on their season-long arcs, as they grow from the nerd to the bully, or the introvert to the extrovert, or the friend to the foe. I want to see an early friendship or romance blossom into something beyond the game, only for one half to sever it, and then have the other half rip into their former friend/romantic partner at FTC and be the sole vote that costs them the game. I want poetry, dammit! And that's what Part 3 will be grading castaways on: how do they grow throughout the game? (This definitely gives late-game players an advantage, and therefore it will be only graded on a scale of 0% to 10%)
IV. What did we expect? Looking back at previous Stranded Fan Favorites; Reem, Trashley, Danni, etc.; I've found one key similarity between them all: the people who tend to win Fan Favorite are those who play unpopular characters. Boston Rob, Cirie, Parvati and other irl Survivor legends are rarely legends in Stranded too, and I think that's one of the beauties of this game. I like it when somebody like T-Bird Cooper can come into this game and be so diametrically opposed to their irl counterpart, and so (controversially or not), I'm devoting an entire merit to that phenomenon. This is where players like Dean and Christian might suffer, and others like Chelsea or John might succeed. And I know this wasn't in the player's control, but fuck it - mo' metrics, mo' problems. (To be multiplied to a character's score by a factor of 1, 2, or 3, with bigger characters only multiplying their score by 1 or 2, and no-names times three, giving them an inherent advantage irrelevant to how they actually play the game)
V. The Final Part Now, I know what you're thinking: I thought you said there would be ten parts, Garrett, why does it say that the fifth part is the final part? Well, the truth is I got lazy and I couldn't come up with five more parts; suggestions are welcome, by the way! So, for now, we'll only be grading people on five parts, and I'll just multiply their percentage by 2 to get a more accurate representation. With that being said, what's the fifth and final part? Truthfully, it's the most important one so far, and therefore it will account from anywhere from -15% to +35%. It's all about activity here. How much are they playing, and how many shits do they give? A player who's riding the wave of a majority alliance will lose almost all of their cumulative points here, and the batshit crazy outsider with a chip on their soldier who spends every waking moment thinking about how to advance themselves in the game might be able to earn full marks here. This is a game, and I want to see people actually playing it. (This fifth part will be graded from -15% to 35% each episode).
So, there you have it.
My merits might change and evolve over time, but these five will definitely be the first five merits for the first episode. Please leave any suggestions you might have below, as long as they’re not stupid please.
Last edited by Garrett on Sat Oct 03, 2020 2:08:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
But yep, pick your jaw up off that floor because it’s the truth. They play Aaron and Tommy, and have gotten along pretty well so far in spite of Tommy ignoring his wife so that he can play on his honeymoon and Aaron ignoring his girlfriend so that he can play on his toilet. They really do have a lot in common, so we’ll see if King Dean can suss that out. 
), and the similarities between that play and this opening weekend are staggering! Who could forget the iconic line from TDK: “Tut, tell me of no storms ; but direct me to her bed-chamber, my noble firelock of a flesh pistol”. I mean, helloooo? Jessica and Alison, you guys planning some kind of Dumb Knight recreation or is this really unintentional? Whatever the case may be, I’m loving this season’s start, and any comparisons I make to seventeenth century plays are - as always - fully genuine and kind hearted.
